OK, so maybe South Philly doesn’t have as many museums and theaters as Center City. It also lacks the bustling college scene of University City and all the super-trendy, “up-and-coming” allure of North Portfishington. Nevertheless, when you take a stadium complex, a beautiful green oasis, a vibrant arts community, and a slew of stellar dining establishments and mix them together into one giant melting pot, inevitably you wind up with a pretty awesome recipe for summertime amusement.

For starters, residents can look forward to an endless string of festivals and block parties—from Fleisher Art Memorial’s 6th Annual ARTspiration (June 9, 10am-4pm) to the first Commotion Festival from June 16-30. Commotion is actually a six-month-long public art project between a diverse group of local artists and students from the University of the Arts in collaboration with community members in the Grays Ferry, Point Breeze and South Philly neighborhoods.

It all culminates with the 15-day festival, which will host the world premieres of six site-specific, one-of-a-kind events at various locations around the project area. This includes “Night Ferry,” a large-scale interactive sound and video-art installation in which audiences can interact with images created in real time by four local video artists that will be unveiled on June 30. Earlier that day, folks of all ages are invited to witness the Frankenstein-like raising of artist Jebney Lewis’ 20-foot-tall creature at a community block party along 22nd and Fernon streets, featuring live music, a gallery of artwork by neighborhood artists, crafts, food and a family-friendly movie.

And speaking of interactive art, for its latest exhibition, Starter Home, (June 22-July 27) Paradigm Gallery is inviting the public to come out and assist printmaker and installation artist Kay Healy in constructing 350 square feet of fabric “rooms.” These “rooms” will include more than 100 hand-drawn, screenprinted and sewn furniture pieces that have been created based on four Philadelphian’s memories of their childhood homes. The exhibit opens with a reception and sewing party (6-10pm) and open community sewing hours will be held each week, Wed.-Fri. from 4-8 p.m.

Finally, whether you realize it or not, South Philly is practically the epicenter of the local alternative comedy scene. Between the free monthly improv showcase at Connie’s Ric Rac, Second Stories upstairs at the Dive and the Philly Improv Theater’s million different monthly shows, you can pretty much guarantee that someone will be cracking jokes somewhere around the neighborhood every night this summer. One of the newest comedy ventures to the scene is Polygon, a community arts organization devoted to building a thriving and sustainable comedy scene for comics of all varieties. Starting June 12, they’ll be hosting a showcase every second Tuesday of the month at L’Etage, offering audiences a mix of stand-up, sketch, improv and storytelling from a revolving lineup of comedic talents. Upcoming performers include stand-up comedian and storyteller Alejandro Morales, the long-form improv duo Cock Hat and Grimmacchio and, last but not least, Philly Secrets, a new team of improvisers who act out and interpret secrets that have been submitted by locals live on stage—regardless of whether these secrets are hilarious or absolutely horrifying. (Nicole Finkbiner)

JUNE

Philly’s Big Night Out. As the city’s newest entertainment hub, there’s guaranteed to be something going on all summer long at Xfinity Live! For starters, every Saturday night, you can catch a free live concert on the mini outdoor turf field. This month’s acts include Mason Vixon (June 16), Go Go Gadjet (June 23) and Modern Bliss (June 30). Every Sat. Through Sept. 8pm. Free. Xfinity Live!, 1100 Pattison Ave. 215.609.1600. xfinitylive.com

Guilty Pleasures. Comedian Brendan Kennedy has his finger firmly on the pulse of terrible written work—from found scripts and terrible poetry to embarrassing emails and love letters—and he’s ready to present it all to you in all of its hilarious awkwardness. June 6, July 4, Aug. 8. 9pm. $8-$10. The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. 267.233.1556. phillyimprovtheater.com

FDR Park Summer Concert Series. Discover a new favorite local band each month as they jam under the stars at the bandstand in FDR Park. The lineup includes singer/songwriters TJ McGlinchey and Dani Mari, folk-rocker Thom McCarty and the soulful five-piece roots-rock group Toy Soldiers. June 8, July 27. Aug. 31. 7pm. FDR Park, 1800 Pattison Ave. fdrpark.org

Cooking Class: Midsummer Classics. Watch and take notes as Swedish chefs prepare an assortment of classic, delectable Swedish summer dishes. At the end of the three-hour workshop, you’ll get to enjoy the fruits of their labor with a tasty meal. June 9, 10:30am. $40-$45. American Swedish Historical Museum, 1900 Pattison Ave. 215.389.1776. americanswedish.org

Fleisher’s 6th Annual ARTspiration. This annual street fair provides a day of fun, free art-making activities for all ages in addition to food, craft vendors and live entertainment. Featured performances include classical Cambodian dancers, Brazilian capoeira dancers and the D.N.A. steel drum band. Adults will even have a chance to compete throughout the day, constructing sculptures from recycled materials. June 9, 10am. Free. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catherine St. 215.922.3456. fleisher.org

Advanced Auto Parts Monster Jam. Sixteen custom-designed, five-ton Monster Jam trucks will fill Lincoln Financial Field with drivers competing in both racing and freestyle challenges. The freestyle competition allows drivers a limited amount of time on an open-dirt track show off their skills—jumping over obstacles, flying and crushing everything in sight. June 9, 7pm. $15-$100. Lincoln Financial Field, 1 Lincoln Financial Way. 800.745.3000. ticketmaster.com

Cinémathèque Screenings. Each month, this repertory foreign film program coordinates a different intimate screening followed by a discussion surrounding international film language. On June 10, they’ll be screening the 2009 documentary Veiled Voices, which profiles three influential women Islamic leaders. Every second Sun. & fourth Weds., 6:30pm. $5. L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St. 215.592.0656. creperie-beaumonde.com

Extreme Beer Brunch. What better way to start your morning and simultaneously cap off Philly Beer Week 2012 than with a booze-absorbing brunch? The draught list will include rarities from Russian River, Firestone Walker, Allagash and more. June 10, 11am. Free. South Philadelphia Taproom, 1509 Mifflin St. 215.271.7787. southphiladelphiataproom.com

Grays Ferry Crescent Grand Opening Celebration. Celebrate the opening of the newest segment of the Schuylkill River Trail —the first to provide access to the river for neighborhoods in South and Southwest Philly. Following a dedication featuring Mayor Nutter, all will be welcomed to food in the beautiful lawn area and fun activities along the 1,600-foot-long pedestrian trail. June 11, 11am. Free. Grays Ferry Crescent Esplanade, Wharton St. & Schuylkill Ave. 215.222.6030. schuylkillbanks.org

Second Stories Presents: Balls to the Wall. Sure to get you feeling super-pumped about summer, several funny locals will share personal tales of endurance, triumph and unbridled enthusiasm. Hosted by storytelling extraordinaire Jaime Fountaine, this free storytelling series is held the first Tuesday of every month. June 12, July 17, Aug. 14. 7pm. Free. The Dive, 947 E. Passyunk Ave. 215.465.5505. facebook.com/the.dive.bar

Camp Woods Plus. Having quickly become a must-see event within the city’s burgeoning comedy scene, each month this alternative sketch comedy showcase features one local sketch troupe, one out-of-town act and a brand new set from the Philly sketch juggernauts themselves, Camp Woods. June 13. 8pm. $10. L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St. 215.592.0656. creperie-beaumonde.com

After Work Workout. Blow off some steam and mingle with neighbors all while simultaneously helping to beautify FDR Park. Sure beats paying out the ass for a gym membership. June 14, July 19, Aug. 23. 5pm-7pm. FDR Park, Boat House, 1800 Pattison Ave. fdrpark.org

5th Floor. In conjunction with the 3rd Annual SoLow Festival, Bright Light Theatre takes you on a thrilling and intimate ride on a mysterious elevator—literally. The story unfolds as you travel floor to floor; secrets are revealed and eventually you become part of the action itself. June 15-17. Various times. $0-$10. Foremost Building, Elevator, 525 S. Fourth St. solowfestival.blogspot.com

ManiPedi Party. Hosted by the local all-female sketch troupe ManiPedi, this comedy showcase/ice cream social will feature performances from several of the city’s finest comics, including a stand-up set from Carolyn Busa, co-host of the weekly open-mic show, “Laughs on Fairmount.” Stick around after the show and join the ladies for a dance party. June 15, 8pm. $10. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. Ninth St. 215.279.7587. conniesricrac.com

Handmade Market. Each month this summer, Paradigm Gallery is teaming up with local community organizations to host an art bazaar featuring affordable artwork, prints, jewelry, clothing and various other handmade items from local artists. June 16, July 7, Aug. 4. 12pm-6pm. Free. Paradigm Gallery, 803 S. Fourth St. 267.266.0073. paradigm-gallery.com

Diamond Divas Live. For this matinee benefit show, the most legendary divas of the past and present will perform live under one roof. We’re talking Cher, Liza and Barbara as well as Rhianna and Nicki Minaj. Actually, that’s a total lie—Philly’s finest female impersonators will be the ones performing. Sorry to get your hopes up! June 17, 6:30pm, $15. South Philly Diamond Club, 2026 S. Hutchinson St. 267.252.4924. wptapl.com

Neil Diamond. The pop/rock/country icon is taking his greatest hits on the road yet again. With a career spanning five decades, he certainly has plenty of hits to choose from, like “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” and “Song Sung Blue.” June 18, 8pm. $55-$120. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. 215.298.4200. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

Tell Me a Story: Down and Dirty. In conjunction with the 3rd Annual SoLow Festival, this live monthly storytelling series will take inspiration from the festival’s “Down and Dirty” theme, featuring inevitably raunchy tales from host Hillary Rea along with Kambri Crews, Todd Marrone and more. June 20, 7pm. Free. Shot Tower Coffee, 542 Christian St. 267.886.8049. shottowercoffee.com

SAGA: The Rock Opera. Set in 1984 when the Cold War and the Culture War were both raging in the U.S., this production by Erik Ransom incorporates a score that plays with the synth-pop sound of the ‘80s as well as Ransom’s unique brand of Ragnarok. June 20, 22-23. 8pm. $15. L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St. 215.592.0656. creperie-beaumonde.com

Accidents Will Happen. Held the first and third Wednesday of every month, this new free alt-comedy showcase features stand-up, sketch and the occasional musical guest. Tonight’s show will feature Doogie Horner, Joey Dougherty, Sarah Morawczynski and sketch group Camp Woods. June 20, 9pm. Free. Adobe Café, 1919 E. Passyunk Ave. 215.551.2243. adobecafephilly.com

Grays Ferry Crescent Movie Night. Grab a blanket and a few friends and head to South Philly’s newest outdoor haven for a showing of Will Smith’s Academy Award-winning film, The Pursuit of Happyness. Either pack a picnic or arrive early for free snacks and beverages. June 21, 8:30pm. Free. Grays Ferry Crescent Esplanade, Wharton St. and Schuylkill Ave. 215.222.6030. schuylkillbanks.org

Mike & Alex Get You Drunk. Hosted by Michael Hochman and Alex Gross, this night of improv comedy and drunken antics will feature performances from the N.Y.C. troupe the Imposters, Richmond Comedy Coalition from Virginia and Philly’s own Rare Bird Show as well as music from Lightening Bolts of Pain. June 22, 9:30pm. $14-$18. The Arts Parlor, 1170 S. Broad St. artsparlor.weebly.com

Midsommarfest. Spend the afternoon partying it up like a Swede at this annual summer celebration, complete with food, drinks, homemade pastries, music, games and maypole dancing. There will also be crafts and games for the kiddies. June 23, 4pm. Free. American Swedish Historical Museum, 1900 Pattison Ave. 215.389.1776. americanswedish.org

Reasonable Discourse With Jerks. What do comedians talk about when they’re hanging out? Find out at this monthly comedy panel show featuring some of the funniest and most interesting personalities in the city. Host Jim Grammond leads the panel in a discussion of world events, pop culture and oddities in the news. June 27, 9pm. $10-$12. The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. 267.233.1556. phillyimprovtheater.com

A Few Answers Short. In this panel-based game show, Philly’s top comics compete in a series of meaningless challenges that test talents as varied as self-censoring ability, recognizing product barcodes and naming songs played by the audience on kazoo. June 27, 10pm. $10-$12. The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. 267.233.1556. phillyimprovtheater.com

Group Guitar! Grab that old guitar sitting in the back of your closet and finally put it to use. In a relaxed group setting, you’ll learn about correct technique and posture as well as a fun mix of scales, chords and simple progressions. No previous experience necessary. June 25-July 30. 6:30pm. $145. Queen Village Art Center, 514 Bainbridge St. phillyartcenter.com

Sewing Basics: Hems, Copies & Creative Clothing Recycling. Learn to sew while recreating your favorite fashions. After starting with clothing alterations like hemming and bringing in waistlines, participants will get to redesign one of their own shirts or skirts with the guidance of an instructor. June 26-July 31. 6:30pm. $165. Queen Village Art Center, 514 Bainbridge St. phillyartcenter.com

LMFAO. It’s hard to say whether this eccentric electro-pop duo is pure genius or pop music pariah. Either way, Redfoo and Cherrytree are rolling into town along the entire Party Rock Crew and several special guests for one hell of a dance party. June 30, 7pm. $35-$69. With Far East Movement, the Quest Crew, Sidney Samson, Natalia Kills + Eva Simmons. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. 800.298.4200. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

JULY

Coldplay. Admit it—Chris Martin’s melodic pop-rock totally makes you feel tingly inside. Even better, he’ll be joined by Wolf Gang, the critically acclaimed brainchild of fellow Brit and MGMT member Max McElligott and The Flaming Lips. July 5-6, 7pm. $46-$96. With Wolf Gang. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. 800.298.4200. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

Free Improv Workshop. Always wanted to try improv, but just never got up the nerve to commit to eight weeks of class? Good news: The Philly Improv Theater offers a two-hour workshop where you can learn the basics of improv without having to make a commitment or spend a dime. July 7, 4pm & Aug. 5, 1pm. Free. The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. 267.233.1556. phillyimprovtheater.com

Summer in the City. In Da Vinci Art Alliance’s Annual Members Awards Exhibition, a multimedia collection of works takes inspiration from the sights, events, colors and moods of the summer season both in Philly and in other cities around the world. July 8, 1pm. Through July 29. Free. Da Vinci Art Alliance, 704 Catherine St. davinciartalliance.org

Ceramic Tile and Mosaics. Learn a traditional Pennsylvania style of tile- and mosaic-making from start to finish with a mosaic ready to hang on your wall at home. Bring to the first class: a drawing or photograph that you will trace and make out of clay. Every Mon., July 9-Aug. 17. 6:30pm. $155-$175. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catherine St. 215.922.3456. fleisher.org

Paper Cutting. Remember making snowflakes in grade school? Well, that was a (very basic) form of paper cutting. During this two-day intensive workshop, you’ll learn how to develop your own design and create a picture using just paper, scissors and knives. July 10 & July 17, 6:30pm. $35-$40. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catherine St. 215.922.3456. fleisher.org

Urban Design Walking Tour: Waterfront Tour. Armed with a sketchpad, explore the physical development of Philly’s waterfront through a guided walking tour. Highlights include Old Swedes Church, Penn’s Landing and the Society Hill greenway. July 11, 6pm. $15-$25. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catherine St. 215.922.3456. fleisher.org

Knit & Sip. Whether you’re a novice knitter or total newbie, each week you’re invited to come and sip on hot tea as you work on a project. Yarn and basic instruction will be provided. All you need to bring is your creativity and a needle (size nine or larger if you’re just learning.) Every Thurs., July 12-Aug. 30. 6:30pm. Free Library, South Philadelphia Branch, 1700 S. Broad St. 215.685.1866. freelibrary.org

Roger Waters. The Pink Floyd bassist/vocalist returns with his visual and aural epic: “The Wall.” July 14, 8:45pm. $40-$253. Citizens Bank Park, 1 Citizens Bank Way. ticketmaster.com

Second Saturday. Take a stroll down Passyunk Avenue and enjoy the usual art openings, live music, food specials and, of course, all the wine and cheese your heart desires. You’ll also find a beer sampling at the Bottle Shop and psychic readings at Black N Brew. July 14 & Aug. 11. Various times and locations along E. Passyunk Ave. visiteastpassyunk.com

Lucky 13 & Sweet Jane Vintage Block Party. Stop by the corner of 13th Street and Passyunk Avenue for an afternoon of live music, great pub fare and vintage shopping. Really, it doesn’t get much better than that. July 15, 1pm. Free. Lucky 13, 1820 S. 13th St. 215.336.8467. lucky13pubphilly.com

SmörgåsBeer’d. What better way to appreciate Swedish cultural heritage than while knocking back a few of country’s best seasonal brews? July 14, 5pm. Free. American Swedish History Museum, 1900 Pattison Ave. 215.389.1776. americanswedish.org

Aerosmith. For the first time since 2005, “The Bad Boys from Boston” are coming here to Philly. And this time, they’re bringing along fellow rock ‘n’ roll legend Cheap Trick. July 21, 8pm. $49-$149. With Cheap Trick. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. 800.298.4200. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

Magic Show. Magician Brian Richards will create fun and excitement with his special blend of magic and comedy. Proving he’s got the skills to amaze, at the age of 13, Richards became the youngest lecturer for the International Brotherhood of Magicians. July 25, 6:30m. Free. Independence Library, 18 S. Seventh St. 215.685.1633. libwww.freelibrary.org

7th Annual Car Show & Street Festival. For this annual block party, more than 130 antique, show and custom cars, trucks and motorcycles will line Passyunk Avenue. There will also be live music, street food and vendors on every block. July 29, 12pm. Free. Along E. Passyunk Ave. between Broad & Dickenson sts. visiteastpassyunk.com

AUGUST

Swedish American Line. Join the Swedish American Museum for the opening of its next special exhibition, which chronicles the stories of the famed Swedish American Line. While there, you might as well check out the other exhibits currently on display in the museum’s whopping 12 different galleries. Aug. 2, 5:30pm. $6-$8. American Swedish Historical Museum, 1900 Pattison Ave. 215.389.1776. americanswedish.org

Festivus Games. This first national CrossFit-style competition will test the endurance of both novice and intermediate CrossFitters. Aug. 4, 9am. $50. Fearless Athletics, 744 S. 11th St. 215.983.1515. fearlessathleticsphilly.com

Silkscreen: All Levels. This one-week intensive workshop will cover the fundamentals of silkscreen printing, including various screen stencils, block-outs and color registration. Class size is limited to just eight students, so be sure to register ASAP. Aug. 6-10, 10am. $130-$155. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catherine St. 215.922.3456. fleisher.org

The Judo Range + American Breakfast. The Judo Range is one of the newest sketch groups in town and the only one with a robot cast member. American Breakfast is four people who formed a sketch group based solely on the fact that they don’t actively dislike each other. Both will share the stage for two straight nights. Aug. 9, 9pm. Aug. 10, 8:30pm. $10-$12. The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. 267.233.1556. phillyimprovtheater.com

The Artistic Circle. International nonprofit foundation Artistic Circle will showcase the award-winning entries from their online juried art competitions in the categories of Healing, Spirit Totem, Landscapes, and Mandalas. Aug. 10, 5pm. Through Aug. 29. Da Vinci Art Alliance, 704 Catharine St. davinciartalliance.org

String Band Music Under the Stars. Every Thursday night throughout summer, grab a lawn chair and head over to the Mummer’s Museum for an old-fashioned block party. In addition to classic summer treats (soft pretzels and hot dogs), a different string band will perform each week. There may even be a few mummers in attendance to teach you the “Mummers Strut.” Every Thurs. through Sept. 8pm. Free. Mummer’s Museum, 1100 S. Second St. 215.336.3050. mummersmuseum.com

Japanese Wood Block Printing. Learn how to achieve multiple colors in a printed image with perfect registration using this traditional Japanese technique. All students will have the opportunity to carve and print their own image and since the process doesn’t require a press or large workspace, they can continue to enjoy working with this technique at home. Aug. 13-17, 10am. $140-$165. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catherine St. 215.922.3456. fleisher.org

Crayfish Party. Now that you’ve spent the past two months gorging on hot dogs and hamburgers like a true American, shake things up with an authentic Swedish summer feast. During this annual event, guests will be served a platter of these mini-lobster-looking freshwater crustaceans, along with bread, cheese, potato salad and snaps. Aug. 16, 6pm. $45-$50. American Swedish Historical Museum, 1900 Pattison Ave. 215.389.1776. americanswedish.org

American Idol Live! Now that American Idol has wrapped up its 11th season, it is of course time for their 11th batch of mediocre finalists to invade cities across the country. Aug. 21, 6pm. $27-$63. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. 800.298.4200. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

10th Annual Gay Community Night. Enjoy the game in the company of hundreds of fellow LGBT baseball fans while someone from Philly’s LGBT community throws out the ceremonial first pitch and a local LGBT chorus sings the national anthem. Last year’s game sold out over a month in advance so don’t wait to get your ticket. Aug. 28, 6:30pm. $20-$28. Citizens Bank Park, 1 Citizens Bank Way. 215.463.6000. citizensbank.com

Madonna. Following her spectacular Super Bowl performance—the most watched half-time show in history—the Material Girl embarks on a world tour supporting her 12th studio album. Needless to say, it’s one of the most anticipated concerts of the summer. Aug. 28, $45-$355. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. 215.298.4200. wellsfargocenterphilly.com